On the bright side, I'm not anemic.

I saw my oncologist today and, as usual, I already had a pretty good sense of my condition. I expected my numbers to be worse, I just didn't anticipate how much worse they would be. On the other hand, my platelets improved and I'm not anemic. Those are two of the measures used to stage CLL, so they do matter.

I'm still on a three month follow-up, to see whether I can reverse the trend through lifestyle management. If the numbers are still this bad in July then she would "want to look at other options." I.e., chemo.

The decision to continue watchful waiting, instead of starting more aggressive treatment, is due, in part, to the fact that I don't feel that bad. I'm tired, and I'm experiencing more swelling in my lymph nodes, but I'm not overtly sick. If that changes I need to see her right away.

She did, however, encourage me to go ahead with my trip to New York next month, even knowing the purpose of the visit. She thinks it will be good for me.

This morning, before my visit, I worked in my 2008 Leukemia album, which I just started yesterday, after completely changing my intended design. I also spent some time in my 2007 Annual album. I was reminded of how much I benefit when I work on my albums, especially journaling. I realized that I've been neglecting my gratitude album. That's an activity that costs nothing and really feeds my spirit.