How I spent my summer vacation. Err, New Year's Eve.

I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. I've made no secret of this, but many people don't understand the ramifications.

When the days are shortest my body wants to hibernate. If I am able to order my life in such a way that I face no demands I manage fairly well. I can be an amiable guest, remaining mellow as long as I get enough sleep. Which is a lot.

When I am not able to so order my life I get cranky and irritable, because I'm really not up to meeting other people's expectations.

I managed professionally by never starting a new job or project in the fall. As long as I could keep applying skills I had already mastered, and going straight home to eat comfort food and sleep, I could get through the shortest days. Whenever possible I arranged time off.

This year has not been a good one. Circumstances beyond my control have prevented the use of my preferred strategy. I am facing massive upheaval in my life in the next four to six weeks, two really awful situations in my life that I prefer to ignore can no longer be ignored, I believe the leukemia is getting worse.

I'm tired. And cold. And cranky.

And so I just sent the following letter to a nationally known pastry chef who frequents one of my online forums:

I ran into trouble today. I was unable to find what I needed online.

Would you please either explain, or tell me where I can find, how to sliver almonds?

I was asked to take a bag of slivered almonds to a cooperative dinner. I never buy slivered (or sliced) almonds. I figure, I don't know how long they've been sitting in that little bag, and the oil starts going rancid as soon as the nut is cut.

So I decided to make my own. I had 1+ pound of raw almonds vacuum-sealed in a FoodSaver container on the counter.

I have a little (1"x1.5"x2.5") box grater that I bought for garlic. I tried the slicing side. Wrong! The almond crumbled, it did not make neat slices.

I tried a knife. At the rate I was going, the little bag would cost more than gold. I did not get even slices. I did not get even slivers. I could not figure out how to just halve the almond, without doing bodily harm. I had just sharpened the knife before I started.

And about blanching them. I've blanched almonds in the past for a recipe. Worked like a charm. Skins came right off. This time I looked it up online and found directions on RecipeZaar. They were very specific...no longer than one minute in the boiling water. I now have most of 4 oz. of semi-blanched almonds on a towel on the counter. They are not peeling easily.

It took so long and I was so frustrated that I ended up staying home! So I'm sitting
here in my bathrobe, hungry, cold, cranky....

Anyway. I decided to learn, once and for all, how to prepare almonds. Then, next
time I need them, I will have a more accurate idea of the time involved, and the
skill necessary to allow the process to go smoothly.

As a pastry chef, I'm assuming you've halved, slivered and sliced more than your share of almonds in your life.

Sigh. I turned the furnace on.

I'm cold. I'm tired. I'm not getting anything done.

I really dislike having the use the furnace, but I just turned it on. I'm hoping that maybe I'll feel more like having a life and less like spending the winter in my den.

Five hours later: And turned it off again. I fell asleep after I posted, but woke later and couldn't sleep. I like my room a little chilly, so that I can snuggle into my covers.

Right place, right time

I'm horribly tired, so this is an outline, to be completed later.

co-op
sick
dawn
Wal-Mart return
Sonic
Connie - sick
Carrot cure all
over the door
housewares
flatware tray
size?
new place
first place
freecycle
no pen/paper
groceries
card / URL
where?
checkout

My niece the world traveler.

I found out where, exactly, my niece is teaching: Bingham Academy, in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

This is her second year there. Previously, she taught a year in Namibia after spending a semester there during her senior year of college. From there she also traveled to South Africa and Kenya.

She has also toured in China as a musician.

Can you tell I'm proud of her?

It's working!

I went to bed early last night, feeling kind of off. I woke up this morning feeling fine, but coughing up crud. As time has passed I've felt less well. I decided to focus my eating on fruits and veggies today.

A little while ago I decided I wanted to make some whole food juice, in my Vita-Mix. And I did! I didn't have to move anything, or wash anything, or find anything, before I could work. Before the re-org the Vita-Mix container was stored in a different room.

I'm sitting here drinking some lovely carrot / apple / orange / pineapple juice.

My kitchen re-org is working!

Kitchen re-org

Apparently I didn't blog here about my kitchen re-organization last month. I thought I had.

Although I have been very happy with the small appliances I've bought in the last six months, my counters were getting a little crowded. I only had one outlet that I could really use, so I had to keep shifting things around, plugging and unplugging. I use my new rice cooker so often that it really needs to stay out, but my mixer, food processor and Vita-Mix were already on that counter, which wasn't that big to begin with.

Sometime late last month I reached a breaking point. I cleared everthing off the kitchen counters, one at a time. I scrubbed them thoroughly. I replaced the ant bait.

I bought grounded multi-tap adapters so that I could stop the plugging and unplugging. With those I was able to move the Vita-Mix to a different counter. I moved a utility cart from my workroom to the kitchen, making my crockpots and kitchen scales accessible instead of stashed in the back of a 24" deep island. I moved my stand mixer, which I don't use often, making room for the rice cooker and vacuum sealer.

I was immediately much happier in my kitchen, and began cooking more.

All of that is preparatory to today's (12/12) entry.

MediterrAsian

I've just discovered what seems to be a great new resourcce: MediterrAsian.

The site is designed to help Westerners incorporate the healthy aspects of the Mediterranean and Asian lifestyles into our own.

While the majority of the content seems to be about food and cooking, there is also information about relaxation practices.

I've only browsed the site briefly, but was excited enough to share.

Winter takes me by surprise, again.

I've been in Arizona more than 14 years, and my gut-level expectations about the weather still haven't changed.

Last month I whined -- as I do every fall -- about having grey skies and early sunsets when the temperature is 80F. It just doesn't seem right.

Today the sun is strong, the sky is clear...and it's 47F. At 11:00 a.m.!

I am philosophically opposed to using my furnace here. Most years I am able to avoid it. I did get my winter robe out yesterday, but it looked like winter. It had been grey and rainy for five days.

Today it's bright and sunny, and my (literally) cold feet took me by surprise. But the temperature at the thermostat is 69F, and on the south wall, where I'm sitting, it's only 66F. Those are the inside temperatures.

I need to go get some socks on.

Splash!

details later. Short version: I have a membership to my former health club at no charge! A true blessing!

Effective January 1 my health insurance provider is offering in the Silver&Fit program to its Medicare members. I went to an introductory meeting today. The health clubs are offering us free passes through the end of the year.

This is the club where I used to belong. There is a pool with whirlpool, sauna and steam room, nice locker room, aerobic machine area, rooms for group classes and both weight machines and free weights. That is where I first used the water-based resistance equipment I own; I won't have to take mine. (Aqua-Jogger and Hydro-Bells) My massage therapist practices there.

I left the house at 7am to complete a mystery shop. I wasn't planning to be gone for nine hours, but it was worth it!

I am SO tired.

That pretty much sums it up.

There are days that I simply can't stay awake. I know that when that happens I should just go to bed and stay there until my body has accomplished whatever healing it needs, but sometimes I simply can't: I have mystery shops to complete, or to report. Or it's the first of the month and I have bills to pay. Or I've made commitments to be places, and I need to stay in contact, even if I can't follow through. Or all of the above!

And all of that just increases the stress and guilt that I feel.

I'm so tired.

Update (a few hours later): I currently have one shop to report and one to complete and report. In spite of my financial concerns I may just stop accepting assignments for a while, other than two clients. They both are simple shops, simple reports, pay quickly and reliably and don't require eating fast food.

Yaki Onigiri

Yaki onigiri

Ok. So I slept all day (Tuesday), woke up late, had a bunch of stuff to do, and will be out most of Wednesday. I'm feeling tired, frustrated, discouraged....

So I put some steel-cut oats in the new rice cooker for breakfast, on the timer.

I need to pack a lunch today, so I started thinking about what to fix. I wanted something super simple. Fried rice. I decided to cook up some rice, dry fry it will some diced veggies and add soy sauce. I pulled out my (old little other) rice cooker and made the rice. A complete no-brainer. I'll add some raw veggies to the lunchbox....

Then I got distracted. Instead of just making the fried rice I decided to play with my new onigiri maker. That went well, sort-of. You're supposed to use short- or medium-grain rice, so the rice balls stick together, but I only keep long grain in the house, except for Arborio, and I wasn't going to use (waste) my expensive risotto rice in an untried recipe. And I was using a new tool, and the directions are in Japanese, which I don't read....

The first few rice balls held together pretty well; the last ones fell apart on the plate. I ate those and decided to make yaki onigiri out of the rest, thinking the grilling/glazing process might hold them together. The last two of those that I formed still wouldn't hold together, so I decided to make ketchup yaki onigiri out of them.

Bottom line: I spent a lot of time and effort discovering that I don't like yaki onigiri. And I have a mess to clean up in the kitchen.

I do recommend Lunch in a Box, the blog of a woman I met on the Flickr! group for my Laptop Lunch system.

Early on in the process I considered ditching the onigiri and making risotto instead. It takes more attention than using a rice cooker, but the overall time and energy spent would probably have been less.