Diety kills CD player

Heavenly Father apparently believes I'm well enough to read my scriptures in hard copy, again.

I've been listening to my scriptures on CD. I've been listening daily, spending more time than I probably would reading.

I first ordered the CD's six or seven years ago. Before the problems with my neck were diagnosed properly I had reached a point where I could not hold my scriptures. I considered the CDs "second string," however, and went back to reading, rather than listening, as soon as we found a treatment that helped my neck.

Two years ago my neck caused other problems. Most of you know that the pressure on my spinal cord caused extensive, disruptive digestive problems, and I spent a lot of time lying down in a dark room. I turned to the CDs again when it became clear to me that I could not complete President Hinckley's Book of Mormon challenge any other way.

I discovered something completely unexpected: I heard things that I had previously missed. Now, that happens when I read; I believe that's part of the reason we are encouraged to read our scriptures regularly. As we grow in understanding we are able to recognize and accept greater light and knowledge, and thus able to gain new insights from familiar texts. As I listened to the scriptures, however, it happened over and over again. Every day I learned something new. I began listening to the Book of Mormon every six months, then every four months.

In 2006 I finally received an effective treatment for my neck, which has brought tremendous relief, but then I developed leukemia. I'm back to spending a lot of time lying down. My scriptures on CD have been a great comfort to me. I've been listening an hour or more most days.

Apparently Heavenly Father has decided that I need to return to reading. I finished listening to the Book of Mormon a few days ago, and my personal CD player (Disc-man type) hasn't worked since. I've changed the batteries, I've tried other disks; nothing helps. It makes horrid noises for a minute or so, then "Er" is displayed on the LCD panel.

Now, this is not my only CD player. I have a boom box in my workroom, that can be heard in the kitchen. I have a CD/clock in the bathroom. I can play CDs on my DVD player in the living room. I even have another CD player in the bedroom, in my alarm clock.

What I can't do is listen to the scriptures lying down. With the personal CD player I use an earphone; no sound escapes to bother my neighbors. If I use the CD player in my clock, I have to turn the volume way up to overcome the muffling effect of the pillow. Even then, clarity is lost, which matters for the scriptures more than for music. Also, the controls of the personal CD player are within reach. If I want to hear something again I move a finger and press one button.

Apparently Heavenly Father wants me to return to reading my scriptures. There are aspects that I miss while listening. I can't follow the footnotes. I can't mark my scriptures, or add my own footnotes, or maintain the personal "topical guide" lists that I have in the back. I can't go back and re-read a single verse or paragraph; when listening I have to go back to the beginning of the chapter.

Apparently I have the chance to do all those things again.