What's it like, creating a leukemia album?

An online friend, who has just begun preserving the story of a traumatic medical situation, asked me whether I become emotional while working on my leukemia album. Here's my reply.

I've become emotional, but it was almost entirely gratitude and a feeling of security, as I reminded myself of the many blessings that have come into my life.

My circumstances are completely different. Other than the first few months, when I had symptoms related to pushing too hard before my diagnosis, I have felt well. People looking at me would not know I'm ill. My chief symptoms are fatigue and swelling lymph nodes.

The problem is, there is no cure for the type of leukemia I have. I have been taken by surprise recently by my reaction to [another online friend's] completion of treatment. She was diagnosed in June 08 with a very aggressive form of leukemia. She went through a lot of trauma for six months -- difficult treatments, serious complications, separation from her young children -- but she's done. She recently completed treatment. She's still dealing with some side effects, and will face careful follow up for several years, but for all practical purposes, she's cured.

I will never be able to say that.

So, while working on my albums so far has given me warm fuzzies, they are ongoing, and the tough times are ahead. My doctor would like me to have started chemo several months ago, but I'm putting it off as long as possible. It will mean four months of house arrest, few visitors, no fresh produce (to avoid bacteria), unpleasant side effects.
It's normal to re-experience the emotions as we journal them, good and bad. As you mentioned in a post, however, it gets them out, and we can let them go.